Emory Ellis
Mr.McElveen
English 2 American Literature
14/8/13
What defines me? Why does it
define me? And more
Almost everything that I have encountered ends up
having a significant meaning in my life or in my heart. Knowing where the
important ideas or objects fall and how I fell about them is something
different. Being a little OCD and having lots of different involvements and experiences
I have come up with symbols for what objects mean to me personally. I have many
parts of my life that fall under many different categories (most of with are
spiritual, or include my loved one), but I decided to list a few symbols in my
life and what they mean to me. I have mostly faith related symbols, a family
related symbol, and just something I require in my every day life as well.
The most important attachment in my life are my
beliefs. To most people a cross is just
a symbol of Jesus, or the method of crucifying people in Calvary, Jerusalem
around 4 B.C. To others it is a symbol of just another faith or religion, just
like the Star of David or the crescent moon and star for Islam. Yes, the cross is
a symbol of Christianity, and that is one of the reasons I see into the cross
specifically instead of another entity. Having my beliefs being the most important
part of my life, religion is as well (as I have previously explained). I have
become one of roughly 2.18 billion Christians around the world, and I always
have been involved in the church. My father belongs to the St. James Episcopal
Church, and my Mom with Trinity. This has given me the ability to attend almost
every Sunday. Being a Christian I have become fond of the Father and Son and
Holy Spirit, and try to be more like Jesus every day in any way I am able to.
Whenever I see a cross it is a huge reminder of where I have come from and that
I cannot change that even if I wanted to. Especially on rough days or when I am
upset or emotionally unstable, seeing a cross helps me remember that God is
there almost like a crutch to lean on. I
have gone through some difficult times and knowing that I have the holy trinity
right next to me in the form of a cross around my neck or wrist. I use to have
a cross necklace that held tightly to my neck really helped me in middle
school. As crazy Christian as I sound having a helping had of those too lines
crossing over each other has always been there for me, and I know that they
always will be.
Just like the cross, the dove also has a very deep
place in my heart and mind. A dove is, by definition, a stocky seed or fruit
eating bird of the pigeon family, with a small head, short legs, and a cooing
voice. To me doves are graceful biblical
creatures that come into peoples lives holding an oil branch representing the
Holy Spirit. I have never seen a dove with an oil branch other than in
pictures, but I have seen pure white doves just like the bible describes and
they are breath taking, beautiful creatures from God sent to earth. In the
Bible itself the dove represents divineness and purity as it does to me. The
dove is an important part of my life, because just like the soap when I think
or see of a dove I feel clean and pure. I fell like I have been accepted by god
and I am apart of him and he is apart of me. I first really starting relating
to doves and the symbol doves give when I was young. I would always stare at
the stain glass in awe by all of the stories and colors that were shown. Having
such a mesmerizing image of this white being with the green branch surrounded
by bits and pieces of color really made an impact in my mind. Now that I am
older I know the meaning behind the dove and I can relate to it on more then
one level.
Another Christian symbol that has more personal
meaning instead of family meaning is a butterfly. Yes it is a pretty, colorful,
and patterned flying insect, but to me it has become an important and
spiritually significant portion of my life. It mainly became an important part
of me in early 2013 at my first Happening (happening 70) when I went to a
spiritual “senior high retreat” or a high school weekend away from home. I had
been to weekend retreats like this one before, but they were more “friend”
based and helping people with what they are going through with faith, and not
of a spiritual weekend that taught you how to help yourself with God more with beliefs
and spiritual empowerment. At my first
Happening, as it is every year, the main symbol was a butterfly. The first
night they tell a story of a caterpillar and his specific touching story of
becoming a butterfly after realizing that you do not need to follow the group
when you can learn to become your own person. Odiously, people go through
changes in their life, but the thought of what he goes through is very eye
opening. They close the first talk with telling everyone that hopefully they
will see how they can learn to not follow the characteristic of a difficult
high school life, but that they can find God over the weekend and have him lead
the way. Not changing their personalities into someone they are not, but
changing the way people think about their Christian faith and kept it in their
everyday life, and also because so people are, but not to be ashamed of
expressing their beliefs and faith. As the weekend went on and people continued
to connect everything to butterflies and this has stuck in my head as a weekend
I could never forget all about butterflies.
August 23 through august 25 I returned to the Solomon
Center for another happening experience where I gave an original version of my
favorite talk from my last visit. It is called the mask talk where I ask
everyone to take off their personal mask and be themselves for the weekend and
maybe the rest of their lives. Most people wear masks especially in middle
school and high school. I think that this is a big idea to discus with most
uprising high scholars and people that have been in high school that want to
change their experience in high school through God, because what is going on in
their life is not ideal. Another reason a mask means so much to me is drama and
arts aspect of it. There is such a passion and creativity that can be found on
a stage. Being one of the thespians at episcopal, I understand that acting is
no easy chore and neither is another preforming art. The people that wear mask
everyday is not acting its pretending. To me there is a difference. Acting is digging into someone else’s shoes and
really relating to them and portrays who they are. Pretending is being a fake
and not true to someone’s self or those around them. The felling I get when I go
on stage is amazing, and there is no other word to explain it. The tingle that
goes up my legs into my torso when I exclaim the first words in front of a
crowd, or when I am waiting to go on stage with butterflies in my stomach.
Weather I am speaking publicly or acting, dancing or singing, playing an
instrument or maybe more than one talent at a time. It is just a way of life
for people that no one can a person cannot describe. There is no word found for
it. I usually do back stage or behind the
scenes work, because I know that when something needs to happen not everyone is
willing to donate time for no “credit”. Usually the people on stage need the limelight,
some do not and just go for the love, but while I love recognition as much as
the next person but I am okay with it.
Just like acting singing and making music is just as
important. Listening to your favorite song is one activity, but doing so in the
winter with the comforts of your own house and a nice crackling fire in the
fireplace is another. Most people see them as a different cheaper way to obtain
energy in a home, or a pretty flame that takes effort to make. To me it means
way more. It means love, affection, the warm fuzzy feeling someone gets when
they know somebody else loves them, and the fire that has been said to me in my
own heart. I love being confortable, and the childhood memories that I associate
with a fireplace. Fireplaces also remind me of Christmas witch is another reason
and we use to light it Christmas night and spend family time around the fire. The
flames help me remember my family and the times we have spent together around
the fireplace and around each other. The fire in my heart is such a good
example because anyone who has seen a fire before knows that there are always
embers and little pieces flying out from the logs just like me. I do everything
out of love and try to for the good of others, but sometimes something just
pops out and it is not the love and kindness I aim for. I recollect getting
burned one winter morning because I was sitting to close and I got a singed on
the leg by a free floating ember.
Knowing the love of Christianity and
religion as well of preforming arts and my family, having them all come
together to form myself, and realizing what they mean in my life is huge to me.
I do not hide behind a mask made my stereotypes and social media and I can be
my self with no worry about what everyone thinks of me. I can be a creative
spiritual human with realization that people believe in other ideas, but I can
still have connections with them in other ways.
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